So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
