Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
