He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
