Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
