We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
