so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
