I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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