If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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