Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
