if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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