she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I had to cum in my sink.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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