You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
