Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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