Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
