The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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