Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
