im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We have so much sex to catch up on
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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