she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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