I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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