Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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