Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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