Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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