And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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