Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
