I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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