maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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