He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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