I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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