At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize