Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
