This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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