he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
