omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
