were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
