i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
