i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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