wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
