Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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