I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think I am morally bankrupt
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
