He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
How naked do you want me to be?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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