dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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