Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
