well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
