Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
