everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
