i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
