you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
