it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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