I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Boobs speak an international language.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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