i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
