I want to walk on stilts...naked
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
