No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Your cock deserves a montage
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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