Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
