How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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