Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
