You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
