also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
