I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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